Sunday, August 10, 2008
Back in Jersey
So I'm back in Jersey for the first long extended stay since December.....
It's interesting, while things haven't changed much, I know that I've changed a tremendous amount. In these past 7 months, riding literally a roller coaster ride, there have been some incredible lessons learned. Lessons in autonomy, in trust, in faith, in friendship and on a more functional note, lessons in management, leadership, and humility.
Let's re-wind and re-cap:
- End of Jan: I attended a YJA Board meeting not only where I met new members of the local Chicago Convention Committee who we'd be working with to put on the 2008 YJA Convention, but also my partner and girl friend. I met her at probably one of the most prolific junctures in my life - a time when I had moved across the coast endeavoring "to find myself" - or more so see where my internal faith and strength would take me. While I was set on not being in a long distance rel'ship, her heart and soul were simply too beautiful for me to pass up on....
At the same time, I had started the first trimester of my co-hort and was staying with my best friend, Mike....trying to get situated - a stranger in a strange land trying to grow some roots.
- The end of Feb: This marked yet another major transition. Upon returning to SF from the YJA Winter Retreat in the Poconos, I found myself moving to a room in a cabin in a Healing and Wellness Center in the Santa Cruz mountains, about 2 and a half hours outside of San Francisco. Committed to live in a place of spiritual nourishment, I moved in with a roommate who was ardent in not having a roommate. However, after nearly 6 hours of conversations, we realized we were on the same wavelength in terms of how we wanted to evolved and deeply felt a familiarity and a connection, as well as a comfort in knowing that we could help each other in evolving.
It just so happened that the plans for the Marshall Creek Center went through its growing stages as well. Any center not founded on principles of integrity and honesty tends to finds it's way onto the detours of what its inhabitants need in order to grow and evolve. As the seasons changed, so did the intention of Marshall Creek. As financial tolls added up, a place which was once intended to be a Center for Community and Co-creation, found itself switching gears to become more of a space to be rented for healers and therapists to bring their clients to.
I realize even in my own life, how it is much easier to paint a rosy picture of how things are on the outside, when deep inside there could be a storm brewing - a war between the primordial forces of the self tugging the soul in opposing directions. When the forces of power, control, and denial get so strong that it takes up the space which was otherwise meant for love, partnership, and honesty. The funny thing is, is that while one can easily view these shifts and turn from the lens of right/wrong, good/bad ... it is the mature self that realizes that things need to naturally take their course in order to expand and outgrow the paradigms inside of which things once exist. We all karmic relationships to fulfill - just a person meets another for the first time and yet feels a long time connection for lifetimes prior.
And so in three to four short months Marshall Creek was to undergo it's own metastasis, as the people who created it and those who were brought to it.
- fast forward to the end of May: Sensing these subtle yet incredibly powerful shifts, I realized that my journey was to now take another turn out of Marshall Creek. It was time to take this cultivated internal solitude and bring it outward to the other end of the spectrum - to San Francisco. I had spoken to a few people at the hostel I had frequently stayed in about the opportunity to work and live at USA Hostels. I soon found myself moving out of Ben Lomond (where Marshall Creek is) into the heart of San Francisco.
Sensory overload. Having gone from a cabin in the woods connected with nature - the trees, the creek, and the gentle forces surrounding it into an environment of over stimulation and conflicting forces, I found it difficult to cope with. It was a constant process of completing things within myself, switching gears from managing my f/t job at American Access Care, working the graveyard shift at the hostel, helping to plan the YJA 2008 Convention, staying in touch with my other business commitments, and moving a long distance relationship forward. Weeks were moving by as fast as days, and days as fast as hours. Being so in the world of "doing" things and meeting deadlines, it became an extreme challenge continuing to be grounded in the "being" of who I was. After all we're human beings, not human doings....
- end of June: The YJA Convention - the endeavor which had monopolized my time for the past 12 months was now only a few short days away. The countless hours of conference calls, of planning, of negotiating, establishing the foundation of a powerful context, confirming meaningful, enigmatic speakers, and creating sessions with a team of extra-ordinary human beings - aligned with one commitment, finally came to fruition.
Soon after, I came back home to Jersey to spend time with my family. Reconnecting with friends, and at the edge of yet another transition. Coming back to a family situation which hadn't progressed much and a father who's health was ailing, I realized that it was prudent to take a semester off and come back home. Yet another crossroads.....on one hand, the city that I had grown to love and which had fueled my spirit and kindred friends who were fellow seekers and on the other, family responsibilities which beckoned my return, I had to make a choice.
- The present: After a month of traveling, b/w Chicago, NJ, Omaha, Chicago, back to NJ, i'm now back at home, centered, regrouped, and ready for the next 4 mos. of intense work ahead. Between studying for the GMATs, managing work, and www.thebabyshowerstore.com, it's time to switch gears yet again.
One of the major things I want to make sure I incorporate this time around is my connection with my creative muses. While I was cleaning the basement the other day, I came across my old journals. I flipped through pages of thoughts from 2000-2003, flipping through pages of dreams, experiences, and poetry I had written, I realized the passion with which I was searching, yearning to find out "Who I am". In the quietness, falling still in the depths of my mind, I realized the importance of that internal dialogue - the value of taking some time to reflect and express the rawness of my feelings and emotions as they came up and found their voice in lyrical rhyme filling empty pages with creativity.
In the end, everywhere you go, there you are....your dreams, your visions, your fears. So often, we want to distract ourselves from the conversations within with external stimuli, be it TV, etc., that we get wrapped up in the cacoon of our own cacaphony, caught in the web of our construction, that the internal voice - our voice gets softer and softer until one day we forget what it is that we really came here for....
Once again not say that any of those things are "bad" or even deterents, but it's about balance. What a blessing it is when you find kindred spirits who are engaged in the personal inquiry of the self, of one's identity, of one's purpose and manifesting it! Be it God, a higher power, the big "S" in Self, there are paradigms and worlds of experience and articulation that we as human beings are capable of. There are realms, which exist outside of the five senses, we can tap into and faculties waiting to be developed which bring the "being" of human being to greater heights. Being back in this place of stillness of presence, I look forward to seeping the roots of who I am even deeper in the human experience .....
There is much to celebrate and much to create...the more we resonate, the more fun it becomes!
With love,
parth
It's interesting, while things haven't changed much, I know that I've changed a tremendous amount. In these past 7 months, riding literally a roller coaster ride, there have been some incredible lessons learned. Lessons in autonomy, in trust, in faith, in friendship and on a more functional note, lessons in management, leadership, and humility.
Let's re-wind and re-cap:
- End of Jan: I attended a YJA Board meeting not only where I met new members of the local Chicago Convention Committee who we'd be working with to put on the 2008 YJA Convention, but also my partner and girl friend. I met her at probably one of the most prolific junctures in my life - a time when I had moved across the coast endeavoring "to find myself" - or more so see where my internal faith and strength would take me. While I was set on not being in a long distance rel'ship, her heart and soul were simply too beautiful for me to pass up on....
At the same time, I had started the first trimester of my co-hort and was staying with my best friend, Mike....trying to get situated - a stranger in a strange land trying to grow some roots.
- The end of Feb: This marked yet another major transition. Upon returning to SF from the YJA Winter Retreat in the Poconos, I found myself moving to a room in a cabin in a Healing and Wellness Center in the Santa Cruz mountains, about 2 and a half hours outside of San Francisco. Committed to live in a place of spiritual nourishment, I moved in with a roommate who was ardent in not having a roommate. However, after nearly 6 hours of conversations, we realized we were on the same wavelength in terms of how we wanted to evolved and deeply felt a familiarity and a connection, as well as a comfort in knowing that we could help each other in evolving.
It just so happened that the plans for the Marshall Creek Center went through its growing stages as well. Any center not founded on principles of integrity and honesty tends to finds it's way onto the detours of what its inhabitants need in order to grow and evolve. As the seasons changed, so did the intention of Marshall Creek. As financial tolls added up, a place which was once intended to be a Center for Community and Co-creation, found itself switching gears to become more of a space to be rented for healers and therapists to bring their clients to.
I realize even in my own life, how it is much easier to paint a rosy picture of how things are on the outside, when deep inside there could be a storm brewing - a war between the primordial forces of the self tugging the soul in opposing directions. When the forces of power, control, and denial get so strong that it takes up the space which was otherwise meant for love, partnership, and honesty. The funny thing is, is that while one can easily view these shifts and turn from the lens of right/wrong, good/bad ... it is the mature self that realizes that things need to naturally take their course in order to expand and outgrow the paradigms inside of which things once exist. We all karmic relationships to fulfill - just a person meets another for the first time and yet feels a long time connection for lifetimes prior.
And so in three to four short months Marshall Creek was to undergo it's own metastasis, as the people who created it and those who were brought to it.
- fast forward to the end of May: Sensing these subtle yet incredibly powerful shifts, I realized that my journey was to now take another turn out of Marshall Creek. It was time to take this cultivated internal solitude and bring it outward to the other end of the spectrum - to San Francisco. I had spoken to a few people at the hostel I had frequently stayed in about the opportunity to work and live at USA Hostels. I soon found myself moving out of Ben Lomond (where Marshall Creek is) into the heart of San Francisco.
Sensory overload. Having gone from a cabin in the woods connected with nature - the trees, the creek, and the gentle forces surrounding it into an environment of over stimulation and conflicting forces, I found it difficult to cope with. It was a constant process of completing things within myself, switching gears from managing my f/t job at American Access Care, working the graveyard shift at the hostel, helping to plan the YJA 2008 Convention, staying in touch with my other business commitments, and moving a long distance relationship forward. Weeks were moving by as fast as days, and days as fast as hours. Being so in the world of "doing" things and meeting deadlines, it became an extreme challenge continuing to be grounded in the "being" of who I was. After all we're human beings, not human doings....
- end of June: The YJA Convention - the endeavor which had monopolized my time for the past 12 months was now only a few short days away. The countless hours of conference calls, of planning, of negotiating, establishing the foundation of a powerful context, confirming meaningful, enigmatic speakers, and creating sessions with a team of extra-ordinary human beings - aligned with one commitment, finally came to fruition.
Soon after, I came back home to Jersey to spend time with my family. Reconnecting with friends, and at the edge of yet another transition. Coming back to a family situation which hadn't progressed much and a father who's health was ailing, I realized that it was prudent to take a semester off and come back home. Yet another crossroads.....on one hand, the city that I had grown to love and which had fueled my spirit and kindred friends who were fellow seekers and on the other, family responsibilities which beckoned my return, I had to make a choice.
- The present: After a month of traveling, b/w Chicago, NJ, Omaha, Chicago, back to NJ, i'm now back at home, centered, regrouped, and ready for the next 4 mos. of intense work ahead. Between studying for the GMATs, managing work, and www.thebabyshowerstore.com, it's time to switch gears yet again.
One of the major things I want to make sure I incorporate this time around is my connection with my creative muses. While I was cleaning the basement the other day, I came across my old journals. I flipped through pages of thoughts from 2000-2003, flipping through pages of dreams, experiences, and poetry I had written, I realized the passion with which I was searching, yearning to find out "Who I am". In the quietness, falling still in the depths of my mind, I realized the importance of that internal dialogue - the value of taking some time to reflect and express the rawness of my feelings and emotions as they came up and found their voice in lyrical rhyme filling empty pages with creativity.
In the end, everywhere you go, there you are....your dreams, your visions, your fears. So often, we want to distract ourselves from the conversations within with external stimuli, be it TV, etc., that we get wrapped up in the cacoon of our own cacaphony, caught in the web of our construction, that the internal voice - our voice gets softer and softer until one day we forget what it is that we really came here for....
Once again not say that any of those things are "bad" or even deterents, but it's about balance. What a blessing it is when you find kindred spirits who are engaged in the personal inquiry of the self, of one's identity, of one's purpose and manifesting it! Be it God, a higher power, the big "S" in Self, there are paradigms and worlds of experience and articulation that we as human beings are capable of. There are realms, which exist outside of the five senses, we can tap into and faculties waiting to be developed which bring the "being" of human being to greater heights. Being back in this place of stillness of presence, I look forward to seeping the roots of who I am even deeper in the human experience .....
There is much to celebrate and much to create...the more we resonate, the more fun it becomes!
With love,
parth
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Truly Ramblings....
It's Sat. morning,
Sitting at the "Cable Car" coffee place on Market St. by the train station, making pigeon noise back at the pigeons, dumping out the crumbs from my bagel, scurrying along as I wait for Pearl Paints to open in about 20 mins.
Enjoying watching people walk by as much as the April Nectar tea I'm sipping. I'm noticing this animated older fellow, saying "Hi" to everyone, shaking his coffee cup in hopes for come change in return for a smile or a warm "hello".
My mind is so funny, I'm noticing all the thoughts of judgment whizzing by, the thoughts of wanting to give advice. Noticing all these suggestions I'd be so quick to give. Like, I know what would be good for him. It's just so funny to me - thinking "I know". What do I know know?
The only thing I really know is how to know, haha. To use what I know in order to know more. What would it be like to know how to "not know"? To realize when "I know", that that "knowing" is really fallible in the overall design of what there is to know, of all the "knowing" that's out there - creating meaning from thought to identification, to assessment to judgment jumps my monkey mind.
To know that that "knowing" my only be useful in that moemtn and let it go the next. To know nothing, to be empty - aahh - bliss.
...At the moment, I feel content simply sipping on this African Nectar and laughing to me myself :-).
Sitting at the "Cable Car" coffee place on Market St. by the train station, making pigeon noise back at the pigeons, dumping out the crumbs from my bagel, scurrying along as I wait for Pearl Paints to open in about 20 mins.
Enjoying watching people walk by as much as the April Nectar tea I'm sipping. I'm noticing this animated older fellow, saying "Hi" to everyone, shaking his coffee cup in hopes for come change in return for a smile or a warm "hello".
My mind is so funny, I'm noticing all the thoughts of judgment whizzing by, the thoughts of wanting to give advice. Noticing all these suggestions I'd be so quick to give. Like, I know what would be good for him. It's just so funny to me - thinking "I know". What do I know know?
The only thing I really know is how to know, haha. To use what I know in order to know more. What would it be like to know how to "not know"? To realize when "I know", that that "knowing" is really fallible in the overall design of what there is to know, of all the "knowing" that's out there - creating meaning from thought to identification, to assessment to judgment jumps my monkey mind.
To know that that "knowing" my only be useful in that moemtn and let it go the next. To know nothing, to be empty - aahh - bliss.
...At the moment, I feel content simply sipping on this African Nectar and laughing to me myself :-).
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Perspective
To think ... we (as in the States) are less than 250 yrs. old (as of 1776) ...
Australia is about what 400 yrs. old.......
Brazil, even older....
India, even older than that....
yet when the States sneezes, everyone else runs to grab a tissue, and the nearest antihistamine....
It's very important to understand one's place in the context of the world, in the context of history, in the context of the evolution of the human psyche and the contribution of that ....
The need to succeed, what success is measured by, who "am I" in relation to the struggle for that success....contextualizing these things are important if one is REALLY interested in finding one's place in the overall scheme of things ....
There's a difference between spirituality (the ability to connect to the spirit and find its expression) and religion (which is often intertwined with a warped power dynamic and structures created for some to maintain a sense of control and power).
In English, we have the verb "is" ... I am 26 yrs. old, I am a male, I am Parth .... while in Spanish there are two very different and distinct verbs for "is". One that connotes a temporary form (I am happy) and another that connotes a more permanent sense (she IS my mother). In the languaging of age, the actual transliteration of "I am 26 yrs. old" is "I have 26 yrs.". While this may seem like an incredibly simple distinction, the implications are quite profound .... it formulates the very basis of Identity inside of language and the way we formulate and articulate our observations of the world around us.
Inherent in "I am 26 yrs. old" there is an association and identification with the body, whereas in "I have 26r yrs.", there is "I" who simply has 26 yrs. old (based on the body that I have), the "I" is beyond the physical form.
Linguistically, English is a linear language, where one word can have what, 2 maybe 3 different meanings, whereas in a more conceptual language (like Sanskrit or Chinese), one word can be a plethora of meanings depending on the context of the sentence (which is reflective of the depth of it's world view).
In Aramaic, the language contemporary to Jesus Christ, the term "Abwun" was used meaning "the origin of my existence" whereas in the Latin translation, it became "father" ... what a shift from an egalitarian perspective to that of a more patriarchal homogenization of that originating phenomenon. Beginning to inquire into the context of things doesn't package our lives into neat little boxes, but rather blows the top off of what we thought we knew. I'm not saying that everything I'm saying is 100% accurate, I make no such claims, but rather highlight the importance of being engaged in the inquiry of understanding the construction of those mechanisms we hold so near and dear, of those mechanisms that have created the pedagogies that we've been fed ever since we knew how to rationalize and articulate our existence as individuals.
To question these are to question the very things that "the powers to be" have deemed to be "the right way" .... to question these are to fly in the face of authority .... the key, however, is to engage in this inquiry in a respectful way. If we can understand the value of established conventions while inquiring into their limitations, we can actually get present to the best of all of these modes of rationalizing our existence and our place within it. It is in this space that wisdom arises, very different from knowledge.
To be interested in how to form "community", (etymologically, "a common ownership - http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=community), let alone a global community - the question now becomes, what are some platforms or underlying currents which would speak to a sense of globality? What are the actual underlying values/experiences of what it is to be human? This would of course take quite an exploration - some have certainly taken ground in this - Joseph Campbell, being one of them and I'm sure a plethora of others who have taken a look at the underlying threads which run beneath various culture's myths, stories, and articulations of experience.
Loaded, I know....it's interesting though isn't it? That as our "context" changes, our experience of ourselves as "content" within it begins to shift....this is what's meant by "critical analysis" and thereby begins the process of awakening ...
Australia is about what 400 yrs. old.......
Brazil, even older....
India, even older than that....
yet when the States sneezes, everyone else runs to grab a tissue, and the nearest antihistamine....
It's very important to understand one's place in the context of the world, in the context of history, in the context of the evolution of the human psyche and the contribution of that ....
The need to succeed, what success is measured by, who "am I" in relation to the struggle for that success....contextualizing these things are important if one is REALLY interested in finding one's place in the overall scheme of things ....
There's a difference between spirituality (the ability to connect to the spirit and find its expression) and religion (which is often intertwined with a warped power dynamic and structures created for some to maintain a sense of control and power).
In English, we have the verb "is" ... I am 26 yrs. old, I am a male, I am Parth .... while in Spanish there are two very different and distinct verbs for "is". One that connotes a temporary form (I am happy) and another that connotes a more permanent sense (she IS my mother). In the languaging of age, the actual transliteration of "I am 26 yrs. old" is "I have 26 yrs.". While this may seem like an incredibly simple distinction, the implications are quite profound .... it formulates the very basis of Identity inside of language and the way we formulate and articulate our observations of the world around us.
Inherent in "I am 26 yrs. old" there is an association and identification with the body, whereas in "I have 26r yrs.", there is "I" who simply has 26 yrs. old (based on the body that I have), the "I" is beyond the physical form.
Linguistically, English is a linear language, where one word can have what, 2 maybe 3 different meanings, whereas in a more conceptual language (like Sanskrit or Chinese), one word can be a plethora of meanings depending on the context of the sentence (which is reflective of the depth of it's world view).
In Aramaic, the language contemporary to Jesus Christ, the term "Abwun" was used meaning "the origin of my existence" whereas in the Latin translation, it became "father" ... what a shift from an egalitarian perspective to that of a more patriarchal homogenization of that originating phenomenon. Beginning to inquire into the context of things doesn't package our lives into neat little boxes, but rather blows the top off of what we thought we knew. I'm not saying that everything I'm saying is 100% accurate, I make no such claims, but rather highlight the importance of being engaged in the inquiry of understanding the construction of those mechanisms we hold so near and dear, of those mechanisms that have created the pedagogies that we've been fed ever since we knew how to rationalize and articulate our existence as individuals.
To question these are to question the very things that "the powers to be" have deemed to be "the right way" .... to question these are to fly in the face of authority .... the key, however, is to engage in this inquiry in a respectful way. If we can understand the value of established conventions while inquiring into their limitations, we can actually get present to the best of all of these modes of rationalizing our existence and our place within it. It is in this space that wisdom arises, very different from knowledge.
To be interested in how to form "community", (etymologically, "a common ownership - http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=community), let alone a global community - the question now becomes, what are some platforms or underlying currents which would speak to a sense of globality? What are the actual underlying values/experiences of what it is to be human? This would of course take quite an exploration - some have certainly taken ground in this - Joseph Campbell, being one of them and I'm sure a plethora of others who have taken a look at the underlying threads which run beneath various culture's myths, stories, and articulations of experience.
Loaded, I know....it's interesting though isn't it? That as our "context" changes, our experience of ourselves as "content" within it begins to shift....this is what's meant by "critical analysis" and thereby begins the process of awakening ...
Monday, April 7, 2008
Simple Pleasures
Human Beings ... not Human Doings .... it's all about perspective. Just like THAT, a conversation, a comment, a connection can create those AHA moments that brings the present moment into focus and the significant charge of all those running emotions get released.
Had a great conversation with one of the guys I'm staying at the Hostels with this weekend (by "the Hostel", I'm referring to the USAHostel loc in San Francisco - http://www.usahostels.com/sanfrancisco/index.html). How'd I end up at the hostel again? Had some business in SF, so rather than doing the public transport for 2 hours, I figured since I was in SF for the weekend, might as well relish in the energy and new friends of the Hostel - for $26/night including all the good stuff on their website, one just can't go wrong.
Anyhow, had a great conversation with Julian (a 37yr. old former professional soccer player) earlier about the value of supporting each other as we navigate our way to finding a sense of purpose. People have such potential and possibility, but often get skewed due to our circumstances .... once behind on life management stuff or any other accountabilities, there's definitely a greater propensity to get stressed and frustrated - to succumb to the overwhelm and be left broken more than being made. The latter is typically a post disaster reflection (hopefully not). Most of us profoundly shift due to desperation over inspiration. To be standing and moving forward due to inspiration, it's so important to reach out to each other and support each other while giving space to our pasts and what's being experienced in the present. We've all made mistakes, we've all made blunders in the past, hurt people, been dishonest, been adamant, cut someone off in the pursuit of being right, etc .... and it's just what happened - past tense.
Right now, we're in "what's happening", what will you create now?
Had a great conversation with one of the guys I'm staying at the Hostels with this weekend (by "the Hostel", I'm referring to the USAHostel loc in San Francisco - http://www.usahostels.com/sanfrancisco/index.html). How'd I end up at the hostel again? Had some business in SF, so rather than doing the public transport for 2 hours, I figured since I was in SF for the weekend, might as well relish in the energy and new friends of the Hostel - for $26/night including all the good stuff on their website, one just can't go wrong.
Anyhow, had a great conversation with Julian (a 37yr. old former professional soccer player) earlier about the value of supporting each other as we navigate our way to finding a sense of purpose. People have such potential and possibility, but often get skewed due to our circumstances .... once behind on life management stuff or any other accountabilities, there's definitely a greater propensity to get stressed and frustrated - to succumb to the overwhelm and be left broken more than being made. The latter is typically a post disaster reflection (hopefully not). Most of us profoundly shift due to desperation over inspiration. To be standing and moving forward due to inspiration, it's so important to reach out to each other and support each other while giving space to our pasts and what's being experienced in the present. We've all made mistakes, we've all made blunders in the past, hurt people, been dishonest, been adamant, cut someone off in the pursuit of being right, etc .... and it's just what happened - past tense.
Right now, we're in "what's happening", what will you create now?
Saturday, March 22, 2008
In the Friend's list
Oops, I of course forgot some key people:
Amit, Nirav, Chirag, and the YJA team,
Mike (my milk chocolately brother) and Vipul
And my special someone ... you know who you are :).
Amit, Nirav, Chirag, and the YJA team,
Mike (my milk chocolately brother) and Vipul
And my special someone ... you know who you are :).
Gratitude in stillness
So as I sit here, laying in bed, at the foot of which is Annie, all sprawled out dreaming in her little cat world, I find myself reflecting.....Reflecting on the past few days since our Spring Equinox event...reflecting on the conversations that have unfolded with April, Maja, and present to my own internal dialogue.
Thinking about what is my life really about? "Play a game that's worthy of your life," said a coach once. "Play until you have you nothing left, go out swinging, be authentic, and if you make a mess, clean it up, and ultimately realize that in the end, it doesn't really mean anything. People play games because of the "play", because the outcome was worth going through the process for. Ultimately, it doesn't mean anything. And it doesn't mean anything that it doesn't mean anything. You play that game because you wanted to and it was the expression of your 'self'".
That game, of course, can be metaphorically extended outside the conventional football, basketball, or rugby to the purpose of one's life. It really hit me the other day the reality of things. That after I die, people will shed a few tears, kick dirt on the body they knew of as Parth or let the pyre burn that body, and probably part and get on with their lives. Ultimately, what does "Parth" really mean? While one some level, people will remember me as the personality that I was, more so it will be what I made my life be about. As with each of us, that will be what will live long past we're physically gone. It will be the love we brought, the ways in which we contributed to another, the ways we fought through those battles within ourselves for something that we believed in, the way we listened to someone in those moments that no one else would. It won't be what we achieved, but we fought through to achieve it, and the way in which we gave it away.
It's interesting, while we're all here at Marshall Creek Center, working ... working on ourselves - finding that balance and creating space for the deep, repressed stuff to come out, undergoing major tiny shifts - working on the extension of that through the creation of this community, centered around creating a space for others to come to place where they can engage in the conversations they may not get anywhere else. We all realize, that while we're working through the process of building this - the process of financing such a place in the middle of the Santa Cruz Mountains, of working on the physical construction of various parts, taking ownership of areas that call to us - be it a community clean up, hosting unique events and workshops, facilitating women's and men's circles, the list goes on.....that ultimately, we're all stewards of an intention that has lived long before us, that is carried forth by many today, and that will live long after us...
The intention of service to humanity, standing for people to get they there whole and complete; that they have everything they need to have anything they want and that there may simply be internal barriers in the way of one achieving that. That each being is beautiful and divine full of strength, power, and ability beyond cognition. The intention to empower (to remind of the power within - em- being synonymous with en- (http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=en-). Why would we do such a thing? I suppose each of us has our own reasons for why we would engage in such a process. For me it's because there's no other game I'd rather play. I guess when you realize how rich and fulfilling life can be, why not do everything to share that with others - or more so, since that's possible for everyone, why not stand in reminding folks what's really possible?
I was talking with Maja this afternoon and she was telling how unconventional it was for someone like me to be living in the woods, being committed both feet in, to be willing to be in the creation of this community, as well as standing for what's possible in the Jain community through YJA ... in that moment, I was present to all of my teachers, my dad for opening the doors to me about the dimensions that exist in non-ordinary reality, my mom who's taught me value of love and laughter, to those who taught me about roots - Mahendra Uncle, Vandana Auntie, and countless other teachers , to my friends - Janet, Vinit, Shibz, Priti, Sheetal, Ruchik (ah, the limitations of language, here succession doesn't mean order of importance)...the list goes on, to my coaches - Ken, Maureen, Shawn, countless others, and to those who affect my life everyday- Maja, Annie, April, Steve, Gillian and others. and those who continue to teach me every day, making to present to the fact that in the end, I don't really matter, I'm merely a tool for an intention that I can choose to own. Thank you.
I am so incredibly blessed.
Thinking about what is my life really about? "Play a game that's worthy of your life," said a coach once. "Play until you have you nothing left, go out swinging, be authentic, and if you make a mess, clean it up, and ultimately realize that in the end, it doesn't really mean anything. People play games because of the "play", because the outcome was worth going through the process for. Ultimately, it doesn't mean anything. And it doesn't mean anything that it doesn't mean anything. You play that game because you wanted to and it was the expression of your 'self'".
That game, of course, can be metaphorically extended outside the conventional football, basketball, or rugby to the purpose of one's life. It really hit me the other day the reality of things. That after I die, people will shed a few tears, kick dirt on the body they knew of as Parth or let the pyre burn that body, and probably part and get on with their lives. Ultimately, what does "Parth" really mean? While one some level, people will remember me as the personality that I was, more so it will be what I made my life be about. As with each of us, that will be what will live long past we're physically gone. It will be the love we brought, the ways in which we contributed to another, the ways we fought through those battles within ourselves for something that we believed in, the way we listened to someone in those moments that no one else would. It won't be what we achieved, but we fought through to achieve it, and the way in which we gave it away.
It's interesting, while we're all here at Marshall Creek Center, working ... working on ourselves - finding that balance and creating space for the deep, repressed stuff to come out, undergoing major tiny shifts - working on the extension of that through the creation of this community, centered around creating a space for others to come to place where they can engage in the conversations they may not get anywhere else. We all realize, that while we're working through the process of building this - the process of financing such a place in the middle of the Santa Cruz Mountains, of working on the physical construction of various parts, taking ownership of areas that call to us - be it a community clean up, hosting unique events and workshops, facilitating women's and men's circles, the list goes on.....that ultimately, we're all stewards of an intention that has lived long before us, that is carried forth by many today, and that will live long after us...
The intention of service to humanity, standing for people to get they there whole and complete; that they have everything they need to have anything they want and that there may simply be internal barriers in the way of one achieving that. That each being is beautiful and divine full of strength, power, and ability beyond cognition. The intention to empower (to remind of the power within - em- being synonymous with en- (http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=en-). Why would we do such a thing? I suppose each of us has our own reasons for why we would engage in such a process. For me it's because there's no other game I'd rather play. I guess when you realize how rich and fulfilling life can be, why not do everything to share that with others - or more so, since that's possible for everyone, why not stand in reminding folks what's really possible?
I was talking with Maja this afternoon and she was telling how unconventional it was for someone like me to be living in the woods, being committed both feet in, to be willing to be in the creation of this community, as well as standing for what's possible in the Jain community through YJA ... in that moment, I was present to all of my teachers, my dad for opening the doors to me about the dimensions that exist in non-ordinary reality, my mom who's taught me value of love and laughter, to those who taught me about roots - Mahendra Uncle, Vandana Auntie, and countless other teachers , to my friends - Janet, Vinit, Shibz, Priti, Sheetal, Ruchik (ah, the limitations of language, here succession doesn't mean order of importance)...the list goes on, to my coaches - Ken, Maureen, Shawn, countless others, and to those who affect my life everyday- Maja, Annie, April, Steve, Gillian and others. and those who continue to teach me every day, making to present to the fact that in the end, I don't really matter, I'm merely a tool for an intention that I can choose to own. Thank you.
I am so incredibly blessed.
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