In the Friend's list

Oops, I of course forgot some key people:
Amit, Nirav, Chirag, and the YJA team,
Mike (my milk chocolately brother) and Vipul
And my special someone ... you know who you are :).

Gratitude in stillness

So as I sit here, laying in bed, at the foot of which is Annie, all sprawled out dreaming in her little cat world, I find myself reflecting.....Reflecting on the past few days since our Spring Equinox event...reflecting on the conversations that have unfolded with April, Maja, and present to my own internal dialogue.

Thinking about what is my life really about? "Play a game that's worthy of your life," said a coach once. "Play until you have you nothing left, go out swinging, be authentic, and if you make a mess, clean it up, and ultimately realize that in the end, it doesn't really mean anything. People play games because of the "play", because the outcome was worth going through the process for. Ultimately, it doesn't mean anything. And it doesn't mean anything that it doesn't mean anything. You play that game because you wanted to and it was the expression of your 'self'".

That game, of course, can be metaphorically extended outside the conventional football, basketball, or rugby to the purpose of one's life. It really hit me the other day the reality of things. That after I die, people will shed a few tears, kick dirt on the body they knew of as Parth or let the pyre burn that body, and probably part and get on with their lives. Ultimately, what does "Parth" really mean? While one some level, people will remember me as the personality that I was, more so it will be what I made my life be about. As with each of us, that will be what will live long past we're physically gone. It will be the love we brought, the ways in which we contributed to another, the ways we fought through those battles within ourselves for something that we believed in, the way we listened to someone in those moments that no one else would. It won't be what we achieved, but we fought through to achieve it, and the way in which we gave it away.

It's interesting, while we're all here at Marshall Creek Center, working ... working on ourselves - finding that balance and creating space for the deep, repressed stuff to come out, undergoing major tiny shifts - working on the extension of that through the creation of this community, centered around creating a space for others to come to place where they can engage in the conversations they may not get anywhere else. We all realize, that while we're working through the process of building this - the process of financing such a place in the middle of the Santa Cruz Mountains, of working on the physical construction of various parts, taking ownership of areas that call to us - be it a community clean up, hosting unique events and workshops, facilitating women's and men's circles, the list goes on.....that ultimately, we're all stewards of an intention that has lived long before us, that is carried forth by many today, and that will live long after us...

The intention of service to humanity, standing for people to get they there whole and complete; that they have everything they need to have anything they want and that there may simply be internal barriers in the way of one achieving that. That each being is beautiful and divine full of strength, power, and ability beyond cognition. The intention to empower (to remind of the power within - em- being synonymous with en- (http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=en-). Why would we do such a thing? I suppose each of us has our own reasons for why we would engage in such a process. For me it's because there's no other game I'd rather play. I guess when you realize how rich and fulfilling life can be, why not do everything to share that with others - or more so, since that's possible for everyone, why not stand in reminding folks what's really possible?

I was talking with Maja this afternoon and she was telling how unconventional it was for someone like me to be living in the woods, being committed both feet in, to be willing to be in the creation of this community, as well as standing for what's possible in the Jain community through YJA ... in that moment, I was present to all of my teachers, my dad for opening the doors to me about the dimensions that exist in non-ordinary reality, my mom who's taught me value of love and laughter, to those who taught me about roots - Mahendra Uncle, Vandana Auntie, and countless other teachers , to my friends - Janet, Vinit, Shibz, Priti, Sheetal, Ruchik (ah, the limitations of language, here succession doesn't mean order of importance)...the list goes on, to my coaches - Ken, Maureen, Shawn, countless others, and to those who affect my life everyday- Maja, Annie, April, Steve, Gillian and others. and those who continue to teach me every day, making to present to the fact that in the end, I don't really matter, I'm merely a tool for an intention that I can choose to own. Thank you.

I am so incredibly blessed.

Spring Equinox at Marshall Creek Center

Last night marked the end of an old season and the beginning of a new one. At the Marshall Creek Center, we held a Spring Equinox Ceremony (I guess is the closest word for it). It was the first experience of this kind for me, so I found myself initially easing my way into "feeling" and being with what the event was about.

Spring equinox to me signified the end of winter and the beginning of spring - a season that signifies a rebirth of sorts, a time of growing anew, and new beginnings. This of course doesn't mean that one cuts one's self off with the old. I've definitely been guilty of, in some ways, disconnecting from my old life in NJ upon moving to out here to Cali. It certainly hasn't been easy transitioning into a totally new environment: a) in CA away from all of my comfort zones and b) moving here to Marshall Creek in the middle of the Redwoods near the Santa Cruz Mountains nearly an hour and a half south of San Fran. Trying to grapple with the transitions of moving, a tight schedule, managing all of my accountabilities, and most of all with networking breakdown after breakdown. It's been a hard transition to make not only being grounded in a new place, but also following my internal call of engaging in a community which stands for global unity and the upliftment of consciousness. One of the biggest reasons for this long transition was all the traveling I was doing up until about a week ago....I feel like I'm finally getting settled. Not only did this turbulence affect me, but also many of my most cherished friendships. It's true, if something matters enough to you you'll make time for it - I guess what's mattered most to me these past near two months has been getting grounded, in myself and in a clear sense of purpose. This week having been the longest I've actually been at my new place (about a week and a half now), has been the longest I've been here and I find myself still struggling to manage it all, f/t classes, f/t work, 2 internet businesses, and YJA ....

I guess for me, last night marked the time of letting go of all the "stuff" from this past period of transitioning and getting back to basics. An event like this is certainly not necessary for that, but it was nice to relate to the event in that way. From a little after 9p till about 10:30p, we (the 5 of us who're permanently living here - Steve, April, Gillian, Maja, and me - and 2 other folks who came), walked up and down the Creek being in our own space - whether it was drumming, humming, or just being still and acknowledging the moment - we enjoyed the last cold crisp evening of winter. Then from 10:45 until a little after midnight, we sat in circle in the healing center and simply gave thanks, gave thanks for what this past winter brought.

It's interesting in Hindu mythology, Shiva is the god of dissolution. While some believe that Shiva is the god of destruction on a basic level, on a more metaphorical level, he is the god of dissolution signifying the process of things coming to a close in order to create space for a new beginning. The latter is contingent upon the former.

So we spent those initial moments while sitting, bringing winter to a close until the countdown - until about 10:57p when the tides officially turned - Spring was now here. We sat, gave thanks and just celebrated. In the normal humdrum of the "doings" of life, of running around doing this and doing that, it was really nice to take the time to simply be grateful, appreciative of who we are, of each other, of the forces that brought us all together there through some cosmic collaboration and to give thanks for the pple in our lives - especially those I haven't been able to connect with in a long time but still being present to them, to who they really are, to what they're about, and to how much they mean to me.

Being together in a space of partnership and building community, and simply connecting inside of the shared commitment to have this place be a place where people can come, experience, share, be understood, and then contribute - be it take what new opennings they now have and make a difference for the people in there lives, or make a difference in their physical environments, or to support community building efforts at Marshall Creek.

I'm am truly blessed to have finally resonated with an arena to practice community building and to prepare for what's to come. ...